posted 3 hours ago via pizza · © asian with 296,607 notes

asian:

asian:

so im shopping for make up for the girlfriend bc valentines day and holy fuck how do you girls afford this shit

$80 for eye shadow???

is it made out of unicorn shit

what is naked 3

why is it called naked

will it make her look naked

why is it $50

that’s 50 cheese burgers

i can’t deal with make up good bye

asmono:

elleooelle:

Someone has a lot of explaining to do

the horror

asmono:

elleooelle:

Someone has a lot of explaining to do

the horror

mis-takenchance:

tumblr knows..

mis-takenchance:

tumblr knows..

allwaswell-759:

So my older brother was in a book store and picked up a book about the difficulties faced by same sex parents in society today when a woman came up and bitched him out for being “too young to be reading a book about THAT sort of people.” He saw that she was carrying the third Hunger Games Book so he stared her dead in the eyes and hissed “Prim dies.” and walked away and I have never been prouder to have him as my sibling.

wifipasswords:

Let’s play a fun game called “we’re just friends but I’d fuck you if you asked”

The Aristocats (1970)

relahvant:

petition for being awake before 10 to be illegal

relahvant:

petition for being awake before 10 to be illegal

narcotic:

parents: i want the truth

me: *tells truth*

parents: nope youre lying wrong answer

lilbitkipsy:

jadedkitten:

The eternal struggle

never did i relate more to Family Guy than this scene

lilbitkipsy:

jadedkitten:

The eternal struggle

never did i relate more to Family Guy than this scene

smuut:

buttabutt:

karaokekarkat:

deanscabbages:

lovelixst:

rivendellcustomersupport:

this was designed for very young children and i am not a young child i am a 260 pound man

how did you get in there.

how did you get out of there

???? ??/?

??????/??????  ?????/1??? ?????????????????//? ?

theres a hole on the side yo his bodys behind the statue its all perspective

The first idea is still the best. Imagine this guy wiggling in there backwards, whispering to himself “this is gonna get me hella notes on tumblr…”

thewicked-eternity